What's a seemingly mild-mannered girl like me doing in a place like this? The same thing as all these other girls and the guys as well. Besides, to tell you the truth, I'm far from mild-mannered. I generally curse like a sailor and as one of my best friends says, I've got "ass, sass, and class." What attracted me to such an event of sin, filth, and good old fashioned naughtiness? Why, I'm an avid fan of SuicideGirls.com, of course! Hey, I...uh...read it for the articles. Yeah.
If you get the chance to check out one of these shows, I strongly suggest you do. Each show on this particular tour features a local rock band opening for a band called Bloom. At the Troc, the local band was Missing Pilots, who had a sound that sometimes fluctuated between Nada Surf and Death Cab for Cutie, but they didn't hold my attention. Maybe it's just because I was awaiting the arrival of the nekkid ladies while sitting uncomfortably on the edge of a step in the balcony.
Next up was Bloom, and I couldn't take my eyes off of the lead singer/bassist's really, really tight pants. I hope he doesn't wear them every night. The poor guy's gonna chafe! Bloom seemed to be a relatively decent band. Some of the songs they played were garage rock-ish, some were a little more dance rock. I must admit that I too was distracted by the tightness of the lead singer's pants. So tight...not much to the imagination...thank God he had that bass in front of him...
But enough about the bands. This is the Suicide Girls Burlesque Tour, so you want to hear about the quality performances of naked punk rock girls. The burlesque part of the show was indeed my favorite part. I believe there were six or seven girls in the show. For anyone who was expecting full-frontal nudity or even breasts more naked than Janet Jackson's at the Super Bowl, there was probably disappointment. However, that's why this is a burlesque show, not a strip show. The girls all had some form of tape-for-pasties, so everyone's breasts were covered with black or white x's, and no one got down to less than a thong or g-string.
The first number they performed was set to the song "Big Spender," and featured one girl dressed up as a guy, complete with tux jacket, bow tie, and top hat, while two other girls in bras and petticoats danced for her. As they gyrated and the girl dressed as a guy smoked a cigar, I heard this guy in front of me (who looked like he was approaching his 30's) say, "That's fuckin' art right there, man." I giggled, because I couldn't have agreed more.
The girls all had names that made them sound even hotter: Brandy, Tegan, Snow, and Siren, just to name a few. In one number, one girl came out in a wifebeater, tighty whities, and a trucker hat acting like a guy set to "I Hate Myself for Lovin' You." It was really funny, but not as great as when two of the girls came out dressed as cheerleaders. One was clueless, one was tough, and inevitably, they end up in a girl fight. Everyone went crazy for it. Wedgies and hair-pulling were abundant. The guys seem to go crazy over that stuff, and [shhh] I liked it too.
The grand finale involved all the girls in the show. After putting a huge sheet of plastic on the stage at the Troc, they all came out with whipped cream and chocolate syrup, which they proceeded to rub all over each other, even throwing it at the audience. All of this was done to--it still makes me laugh--"Chocolate Salty Balls" by Chef from South Park. Much writhing around on the stage and whipped cream licking ensued. All in all, if you're not terribly wholesome or offended by nudity and cute, sexy, dancing punk girls with tattoos and piercings, go see the Suicide Girls Burlesque show when it saunters into your neck of the woods.
In the words of that guy in front of me, it's fuckin' art. Now I need to go put on more red lipstick and practice my chair-dance technique. Ooohh baby.
XROXX Concert Rating: XXXX (4 X's out of a possible 5 X's)
The first number they performed was set to the song "Big Spender," and featured one girl dressed up as a guy, complete with tux jacket, bow tie, and top hat, while two other girls in bras and petticoats danced for her. As they gyrated and the girl dressed as a guy smoked a cigar, I heard this guy in front of me (who looked like he was 
approaching his 30's) say, "That's fuckin' art right there, man." I giggled, because I couldn't have agreed more.