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Destroy Furniture For Food Disclaimer: Please note that the opinions that Charly expresses in this editorial are entirely his own and don't necessarily reflect the views or opinons of anyone on the XROXX Staff. Most likely you will be dissed and offended after reading this article - don't worry, we were too! So, read at your own risk! In the best interests of the First Amendment, we decided to post this article and let you decide for yourself - the way it should be.
A Few Pros: Girls actually know you exist. Before playing in a band I was a big loser with a lifetime total of three girlfriends. If I hadn't discovered what masturbation was I'd most likely be dead by now. Since You meet nice, cool people. Now that I’m thinking about it, almost everyone I spend time with I have met through being in a band. Being in a band that plays a certain kind of music separates you from everyone else and you’ll meet people just like you. People have come up to me because they notice me from my band and next think you know I’m hanging out and getting smashed with this person. I’ve also met a lot of other real cool people that also play in bands. An added bonus to being in a functioning band is that you get to know important people in the local music scene. This makes life a whole lot easier by getting free stuff, getting to play with bigger bands, and getting free in to shows. A Couple Cons: It takes up a whole lot of time. I know I just said that playing in a band cures boredom, but once you graduate high school it’s another story. The guys in my band hold several jobs and I work, so this makes making time for practicing and playing shows scarce. It also takes a lot of work to keep a serious girlfriend. I’ve seen a pattern of bands that went to my high school breaking up after graduation and I can see why. With college, work, and the whole growing up thing, most sane people don’t have the time or the energy to play in a band. When my band was playing about three shows a week I couldn’t even hold one job. Bosses get sick and tired of time off slips stacked up on their desks. You lose lots of money all in the name of “punk rock.” After playing countless number of gigs myself I know that you rarely get paid when you play. So, unless you’re selling out venues and clubs, chances are you won’t make much more than enough for gas, cigarettes, and an occasional 24 pack. You can try to make money off of merchandise, but most of the weirdoes who go to punk shows don’t want to waste their hard earned lawn mowing money on a sucky bands t- There are plenty more pros and cons to playing in a band, but I won’t bore you people any longer. If you ask me it’s worth it to play in a band, but that’s just because I like girls a lot. If you could see all of the pros and cons to playing in a band most sane people would never do it. I guess that’s why most musicians are so cool; they’re all fucking crazy. Goodnight to all and all a goodnight. For the holidays be sure to pick up (if you haven’t already) the Vandals – Oi To The World album. If that won’t get you in the Christmas spirit I don’t know what will. Also, keep the e-mails coming. Positive or negative, I enjoy them all. FLAVOR FLAAAAAAV. Yours truly, Charly Hogeboom
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Hi boys and girls! Dimebag Darrel from Pantera died yesterday and I’m sure everyone is mourning the loss of this guitar mastermind who didn’t live by anyone’s rules (umm, that was a joke...He used to be a hair metal guitarist that went by the name Diamond Darrel for God’s sake). I’m sure he’s in hell right now jamming with Jerry Garcia and the deceased good half of Bono. Anyways, Christmas is right around the corner and I’m in a splendid mood. Plus, the day after Christmas I’ll be going down to California for a little bit. So, expect a magnificent article about my adventures next January. With me being so happy I really don’t have much to write about. I had a real long article titled “10 Reasons Why Stillwater, MN Sucks An Ass,” but it was mysteriously deleted from my super computer. Maybe someday I’ll try to re-write that beast of a column, but for now I will tell all you whipper-snappers what I believe to be a few of the pros and cons of playing in a band. I’ve been playing in my band, Blind Approach, for over three years and my life has changed a lot since then; for the better and the worse. 
then I’ve had my fair share of the opposite sex and it’s all thanks to Blind Aprizzle. It’s popular belief that musicians are in it for the music, but I can tell you right now that this is total bullshit. Of course musicians love music, that’s why they decided to play in the first place, but if you were a true musician all you’d do is sit in your room by 
yourself all day and play. I believe every single person that plays in a band is in it for either the money or the girls. The ones in it for the money are dip-shits because you’ll lose money, but I can honestly tell you that chicks dig a guy in a band. Playing music cures boredom. I’ve gotten into some trouble in my day with the Stillwater Police Department, my parents, school, etc., but I know that if I hadn’t been in a band I would have been in a lot more. There aren’t a lot of fun things to keep teenagers entertained, especially in a small town, so most resort to drugs and getting into trouble. Instead of being bored and stoned like the rest of the town where I reside I was doing something. Whether it’s practicing, writing, or playing shows, being in a band can take up a lot of time and be a great cure for boredom. So, unlike everyone else I was entertained and stoned. 
shirt that they’ve only heard once. Plus, it takes a lot of fucking money to make a bunch of shirts and stuff. It also takes a lot of money to record and press a CD. You have to sell a shit-load to barely break even and believe me, it’s hard to sell your CD’s to people who aren’t your friends and have never heard your band. Everyone knows the odds are against you if you’re in a band to become a rich rock star or even to make a little bit of dough. But, the odds are also against you if you don’t want to lose money. (Notice, I didn’t even mention the money you spend to buy instruments and a possible rented practice pad.)